The Exact Reason That You Don't Have What You Want

So, let's see if I can guess why you don't have what you want... You can't afford it. You don't have time. You're too tired. You have too many other commitments. You don't know where to start. You don't have the right connections. You don't have the right qualifications. You don't think you could pull it off... am I close?

The fact is I hear these reasons every single day in my business, and I've even been known to use a few of them myself, in the past. But of course, there's really only one reason that you don't have what you want in life, but before I tell you what it is,  I want to share with you, a few of the typical scenarios that are presented by my clients, to see what you make of them, and whether those situations bear any resemblance to yours.

1. The Solopreneur
Imagine following your passion and running your own business. You’re excited, you’re enthused, you love what you do and you’re going to wow the world. But, once you get started, you find it’s really hard to find customers. Perhaps a few family members, friends, and other connections give you a bit of business, and even send a couple of people your way, but they’re fast drying up. You set up social media pages, and maybe even get a website going, but you’re not getting much traction. You might place ads in local press, market to some email subscribers, and so on.  And then, you wait for the phone to ring, or for someone to walk through the door, or for an email flood; but there’s nothing. So, what can you do? Everyone knows that more businesses fail than succeed. Perhaps you were a fool to think you could make it work in the first place.

2. The Elle McPherson Wannabe
Imagine that you want a leaner, healthier body. “I must try and get to the gym soon”, you say to your partner. But really, you’re so busy; what with work, and keeping up with friends, and taking mum shopping on Sundays, and you never have any time for you as it is. And you’re always so knackered anyway, and really love to watch the telly with a glass of wine on an evening. You’ve always been a bit of a night owl, and by the time you have the energy to do something, the gym will probably be closed. And, haven’t you got better things to spend your money on? I mean, come on, you would if you could, but it’s just not practical, is it? And, honestly, what’s the point of living if you have to eat lettuce, forgo wine, and wheeze your way down a treadmill every day? And you've never been much good at keeping the weight off anyway.

3. The Slave to the Grind
Or, imagine hating your job. getting angry, or stressed, or teary on the journey into work every single morning. Moaning to your colleagues, partner, friends, and anyone else who’ll listen. “I hate it so much. I’ve got to find something else”. But you’ve looked online and there’s nothing you fancy. And you sent some CVs out once and didn’t hear back from any of them. And, you registered with an agency last year, but they only rang you about totally unsuitable opportunities. And that one interview you did do, you didn’t get the job. And, to be honest, you hated your last job too, so who’s to say that you’ll like another one any more than this one. Anyway, you’ve tried, done your best, and still you’re stuck here with your horrible boss and work that you don’t give a toss about. So, what now?

4. The Eternal Bridesmaid
Finally, imagine really wanting some romance in your life, after five years out of the dating game. You’re starved of the intimacy that only comes with that kind of involvement, but you honestly don’t know where all the men are. I mean, you occasionally see one you fancy, but when that happens he’s usually taken, and the only guys that come onto you seem like creeps and weirdos. Virtually all of your friends are coupled up and, as they choose to spend more of their downtime with their other halfs, you’re frequently left hanging out alone. Occasionally, they try to set you up on blind dates, but the guys are always a bit of a let down. You do want to meet someone, but you’re not going to lower yourself to online or speed dating, because it’s only for saddos who can’t find a partner in the real world. So, it’s not like you’re not out there trying, but maybe you’re just destined to spend the rest of your life as a singleton.

There’s only one reason why these ladies don't have what they want. And, if there's something waiting unfinished for you, there's only one reason that you don’t have what you want. You didn’t take the necessary actions to get you to where you want to be. Or, you didn't stick with them long enough to make it happen. 

Seems simple enough, right? But, we all know that life gets in the way, and throws us curve balls from time to time. And, I know. I get that. But circumstances, and other peoples’ behaviour, are most often beyond our control, and so it’s fruitless to waste time fretting over what you can’t change. What you can influence however, is how you choose to respond to, and behave, and exploit those circumstances.

So, I wonder, can you recognise yourself in any of those scenarios? Does reading them from a distance, rather than living them, help you to see the options that are still available, that these women haven’t yet explored or exploited? Or do they seem like hopeless scenarios that just need to be accepted? Perhaps, if you can’t see any opportunities in your own situation, you can see options for the others.

What advice would you give these ladies, to start turning things around?

Jo xx