Growing up, I was the very opposite of empowered. Raised by teenage parents who existed in high-stress survival mode, with zero emotional or financial security, my early life was pretty chaotic.
And so like most kids from disadvantaged backgrounds, I created a whole heap of disempowering stories around those experiences that only got exacerbated when we moved to a better area and I was plunged into a school with middle class kids who had so much more material and emotional wealth than me that I started feeling really inferior and wondering why my life was so much harder than theirs.
The overwhelming sense of inadequacy I experienced in those early days led to me withdrawing, being bullied and ostracised, and ultimately becoming a (highish-achieving) loner who struggled to create and sustain genuine connections with people while pushing away anyone who attempted to get close to me.
In the first few years of the 17 I spent in the corporate world, starting out as an administrator and ending up in senior management, I was often described as aloof and unapproachable when the truth was that I longed for connection but my nervous system, wired in childhood, just wasn't able to allow it. As the years went on, I got better at faking it, but some days I just couldn't keep up that facade.
As a result, I burned out and when I left looking for something more meaningful to do with my life, I found myself drawn to the coaching world. At the time I would tell you it was because I wanted to uplift people into a more fulfilling life. In reality, I can see now that I had spent so much of my life disempowered (and scared by the disempowerment I'd seen in my parents) and so this was a path to taking control of my own life and helping others to do the same. Which is sort of similar, but different in the nuances :))
Ironic then that when I came online and was exposed to all the privileged, middle+ class, 7 figure coaches, all my old stories of inferiority started running riot and I ended up scraping my way to my first 6 figures in an incredibly disempowered state, providing the same marketing and business coaching, that I had learned from my very own privileged, 7-figure business coach.
And it might have been ok except that (a) the work was completely out of alignment for me, and (b) I had to work my arse off for every single sale and was burning myself out with the sheer number of people I was serving. Ultimately, the overwhelm and discontent led to me deleting my communities and mailing list, letting my client contracts lapse, failing to show up to market, and sitting idly by while my hard earned business dwindled away to nothing.
Out of the ashes though rose a new proposition. If I was going to do this business it had to be on my terms. It had to serve me as much as it served my clients. Because what was the point of success if I had to sacrifice myself to achieve it? Why did me being of service have to cost me my sanity? Why did I have to do work with mass appeal if I only needed a small number of high-ticket clients to fund my lifestyle?
Fair questions, right?
And yet it was going to take a serious turn around in terms of who I believed I was and what I believed I was capable and deserving of. And so began an exploration and transformation to turn my difficult past into a source of empowerment, that I committed to with the help of various mentors and therapists, that carries on to this day.
It took me less than ten months to rebuild to 6-figures, this time working less than 15 hours a week with just a handful of high-ticket clients at a time. And so here we are :))
But let me share with you what I've learned from these experiences and my decade online.
It doesn't matter what level you're selling at nor how incredible your work is. If you're showing up from a place of disempowerment, secretly resenting the fact that your needs "don't matter" as much as your clients' and audience's and spouse's and kids' and parents' needs, wondering "what's the point?", feeling inferior to the cool kids, hanging onto an underdog story, and putting yourself last, it's always gonna be a fucking nightmare to get the ready to pay you people to pay attention to you in the first place.
That was as true for me when I was withdrawn and friendless in the playground age 7 as it was for me trying to convince people to hire me to do marketing strategy back in 2015.
So if you want to make serious bank in your business (not because you give a shit about the money but because you're ready to live a big, expansive life), working with the best, soul-aligned clients who respect the fuck outta you, it starts with YOU respecting the fuck outta yourself.
Because even when you're saying all the right things, the energy underneath those words is what really lands for your audience in the instinctive, feeling part of their brain (the part that makes the gut decisions).
And honestly, showing up and really bringing it is fucking hard when you're tired and overworked and under-appreciated. Especially when you're the one doing the under-appreciating because it's just what you've come to expect from your life.
So let me support you to stop sacrificing yourself and your desires. To overcome the challanges of your past. To become your most empowered and expressed self. So that you can amplify your authority, get noticed, command respect and get well fucking paid for your magnificent work.
Because that's what you deserve, my friend.
And it's what the world deserves from you!
And so like most kids from disadvantaged backgrounds, I created a whole heap of disempowering stories around those experiences that only got exacerbated when we moved to a better area and I was plunged into a school with middle class kids who had so much more material and emotional wealth than me that I started feeling really inferior and wondering why my life was so much harder than theirs.
The overwhelming sense of inadequacy I experienced in those early days led to me withdrawing, being bullied and ostracised, and ultimately becoming a (highish-achieving) loner who struggled to create and sustain genuine connections with people while pushing away anyone who attempted to get close to me.
In the first few years of the 17 I spent in the corporate world, starting out as an administrator and ending up in senior management, I was often described as aloof and unapproachable when the truth was that I longed for connection but my nervous system, wired in childhood, just wasn't able to allow it. As the years went on, I got better at faking it, but some days I just couldn't keep up that facade.
As a result, I burned out and when I left looking for something more meaningful to do with my life, I found myself drawn to the coaching world. At the time I would tell you it was because I wanted to uplift people into a more fulfilling life. In reality, I can see now that I had spent so much of my life disempowered (and scared by the disempowerment I'd seen in my parents) and so this was a path to taking control of my own life and helping others to do the same. Which is sort of similar, but different in the nuances :))
Ironic then that when I came online and was exposed to all the privileged, middle+ class, 7 figure coaches, all my old stories of inferiority started running riot and I ended up scraping my way to my first 6 figures in an incredibly disempowered state, providing the same marketing and business coaching, that I had learned from my very own privileged, 7-figure business coach.
And it might have been ok except that (a) the work was completely out of alignment for me, and (b) I had to work my arse off for every single sale and was burning myself out with the sheer number of people I was serving. Ultimately, the overwhelm and discontent led to me deleting my communities and mailing list, letting my client contracts lapse, failing to show up to market, and sitting idly by while my hard earned business dwindled away to nothing.
Out of the ashes though rose a new proposition. If I was going to do this business it had to be on my terms. It had to serve me as much as it served my clients. Because what was the point of success if I had to sacrifice myself to achieve it? Why did me being of service have to cost me my sanity? Why did I have to do work with mass appeal if I only needed a small number of high-ticket clients to fund my lifestyle?
Fair questions, right?
And yet it was going to take a serious turn around in terms of who I believed I was and what I believed I was capable and deserving of. And so began an exploration and transformation to turn my difficult past into a source of empowerment, that I committed to with the help of various mentors and therapists, that carries on to this day.
It took me less than ten months to rebuild to 6-figures, this time working less than 15 hours a week with just a handful of high-ticket clients at a time. And so here we are :))
But let me share with you what I've learned from these experiences and my decade online.
It doesn't matter what level you're selling at nor how incredible your work is. If you're showing up from a place of disempowerment, secretly resenting the fact that your needs "don't matter" as much as your clients' and audience's and spouse's and kids' and parents' needs, wondering "what's the point?", feeling inferior to the cool kids, hanging onto an underdog story, and putting yourself last, it's always gonna be a fucking nightmare to get the ready to pay you people to pay attention to you in the first place.
That was as true for me when I was withdrawn and friendless in the playground age 7 as it was for me trying to convince people to hire me to do marketing strategy back in 2015.
So if you want to make serious bank in your business (not because you give a shit about the money but because you're ready to live a big, expansive life), working with the best, soul-aligned clients who respect the fuck outta you, it starts with YOU respecting the fuck outta yourself.
Because even when you're saying all the right things, the energy underneath those words is what really lands for your audience in the instinctive, feeling part of their brain (the part that makes the gut decisions).
And honestly, showing up and really bringing it is fucking hard when you're tired and overworked and under-appreciated. Especially when you're the one doing the under-appreciating because it's just what you've come to expect from your life.
So let me support you to stop sacrificing yourself and your desires. To overcome the challanges of your past. To become your most empowered and expressed self. So that you can amplify your authority, get noticed, command respect and get well fucking paid for your magnificent work.
Because that's what you deserve, my friend.
And it's what the world deserves from you!
